When looking at my kids and looking back, I really can't believe how fast time has gone by. It really seems like not that long ago when they were sooo excited to do just simple things like go to the park or be able to get an ice cream from the ice cream truck clanging around our neighborhood. The song of their tiny, sweet voices filled up my soul, although I don't know that I noticed it at the time like I should have. How I miss those little voices and those little ice cream smeared kisses! Oh, I really tried to savor each moment and I think I did my best at the time, but looking back I think I would have breathed in each moment to its fullest even more!
When Nelson and I set out on this journey of having a family, how naive we were - how naive everyone is! Starting with the first moment of bringing the first child home, how everything changes! The funny thing is, when we had Morgan and then had Zach and Tate all within 3 years, we never really thought about the fact they would all be teenagers together!! That might have terrified us! We were just trying to live one day at a time getting through the trials of having 3 kids in car seats, lots of diapers with not much money and just trying to be the best parents we could and praying that God would make up the difference. Looking from that vantage point then, it seemed as though the teenage years were far, far in our future, that we did not even really need to think about it for a long, long time. Now from where I stand looking back, with an 18-year-old college freshman daughter and 16-year-old and 15-year-old sons in high school, it all happened in a blink of an eye.
Back when my kids were little, a friend of mine who led a Bible study I was involved in at the time said that we only 'have' our kids basically for 18 summers. Boy that hit home and made their growing up years seem much shorter - so much so that I started counting how many summers I had left with my babies. Funny thing is, I don't think it bothers Nelson as much at all as he is looking forward to quiet beach vacations with just the 2 of us. Not me, I already miss building sand castles, sliding swimmies on their skinny little arms and them saying "watch this, mom" as they jump in the water for 47th time in a row with me watching.
All this being said, I have learned over the years that the greatest thing about raising our kids is that I have realized that my love for each of them will NEVER change. I don't know that I was aware of this when they were little, I think I felt that love might change as they grew, not go away but change. When kids are little and so adorable as they discover the world, you just can't help but love them even when they are being naughty. But as my kids have grown, I have enjoyed every part of the process and have realized that my love for them never changes. It is so much fun to have discussions with them, they make me laugh, I love to ride with them in the car (except when they are driving) without music and talk, and even though I don't get those ice cream kisses anymore, when I do get an 'I love you Mom" or a hug, it means that much more. It is certain that no matter what they do in their life that I will always have an unending love for them. Sure, there will be disappointments and anger at times as I am sure they get disappointed and upset with us as parents at times, but my love for them is overwhelmingly tangible and never-failing. I pray that through the years no matter what mistakes we have made in parenting these 3 wonderful lives, they would always feel the deep and unending love their daddy and I have for them.
Teach me to number my days
And count every moment before it slips away
Taking all the colors before they fade to gray
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this
It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it took to look back
I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time
What is it I've done with my life
It happens in a blink
When it's all said and done
No one remembers how far we have run
The only thing that matters is how we have loved
I don't want to miss even just a second more of this
It happens in a blink
it happens in a flash
it happens in the time it took to look back
I try to hold on tight but there's no stopping time
What is it I've done with my life
It happens in a blink
Blink by Revive
